*le sigh*.
it's sort of nice to be alone for a little while...
don't get me wrong...having all that time off over the holidays and spending it with dave was wonderful, i wouldn't trade it for anything...lovely, lovely break. but you know...everyone needs a little time to themselves. i, personally, have not had any time to myself really...outside of maybe falling asleep a half hour before him, and i don't think the time i'm unconscious to the world counts.
so here i am.......alone. freezing. but that's okay.
we've been back to work for two days now, the work is slow as hell but it's a nice kind of slow....enough to keep me busy at least. the rest of the girls in the department........eh, whatever. i've gotten this feeling ever since i started there, that i'm somehow "different" than the rest of them, and this feeling has been rapidly evolving as of late. i don't know what it is exactly....but i'm always on the "outside" of them. which is, of course, fine, since for the most part they bore the living hell out of me, but it's just weird... how they sort of have this..."understanding" between themselves. they sit there and talk about their husbands (amber excluded...she talks about her baby daddy) and their children and money and bills and what they're going to make for supper...shit like that. cathy and i never talk like that. like two old biddies. but cathy is laid off now, meaning i sit there with headphones on all day whilst the rest of the department (okay, a couple of people) say whatever they want about how "weird" and "strange" and "abnormal" i am.
okay if i'm that weird and strange and abnormal........fine. i'd rather be that than boring, frivolous, and superficial.
this has always been going on...i guess it's just more noticeable now that cathy's laid off and it's basically just me entering the cr's by myself, with no distractions such as...oh cheerful friendship and silly conversations where i can be myself and not feel like i'm being judged. but ho hum, life goes on.
the wedding is nine months from friday.
i still have not talked to my pastor, nor have i gone to church in about three months. bad...bad....bad.
i'm sleepy.....only two days back to work and i've already slunk on down to my familiar cycle of sleep deprivation.
weeeeeeeeeee.
cos that's what you say when you're having fun, you refer to yourself and some other people.
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"there's just too much that time cannot erase"
