sometimes i feel like a kicked puppy.
lately i feel bruised and sweaty and satisfied all at once. i dig my knees into the ground, and i love every minute of it. i watch the blood run down my legs as it intermingles with sweat, while tears sting my eyes and mix with the dirt on my cheeks.
i'll always ask for more.
i felt a pang from before...like the countless smacks in the face i gladly took until it all became too much. too much pain. to much to lose, and yet nothing to lose. i felt myself smiling as i expressed my lack of regret --- no, honey, i don't feel bad for any of it --- and smirking as he opened the door to his own transgressions.
i don't believe in the word regret / and i haven't used it yet...
he asked me what my sad-song-on-repeat is. i didn't tell him.
---
...there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
i held your hand thru all of these years
but you still have all of me
i tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me, i've been alone all along...
