i'm sleepy.
things have been going on and there are multiple things in the planning stages and there's been tension and weirdness and okay-ness and my head is all swimmy and achy and yeah........achy. weird week.
i had this dream two nites ago... i was standing in front of a three way mirror... and there were people standing behind me.....deb, amber, tyra (from work), and my laura. they were all talking and excited about something and going on and on and on. there was just blackness all around us....them behind me, and me in front of the big mirror. and i was visibly pregnant. like......large pregnant. i lifted up my shirt to look at my stomach, and my belly.....was concave. stuck out a bit and then curved back around like a c in the middle of my stomach. and i couldn't understand why my belly was concave. but everyone kept talking and laughing like it was completely normal.
i didn't understand that one.
i feel extreme amounts of anxiety about this show i'm planning. the date has been changed to the 29th, for future reference. and when i say i've been "planning" it, what i really mean is i've thrown out the ideas and the contacts and i've been waiting around for people to get back to me. i'm insanely paranoid that the venue's gonna get pulled out from underneath us, since graham has lost his sponsorship with the college-radio-station people. he assures me that it will be okay, but i know he's had at least one show that's been cancelled because of this shit. granted that was months ago but my paranoia knows no boundaries. it is not hindered by time. in fact it grows with time.
le sigh.
so i still need one more band and jimmy stepped up at practice like "hey i have this band i'd like to book i'll call you tomorrow weeee" so i'm like "rock rock rock" and did he call? oooooooooof course not. so do i have times and set lengths? ooooooooooof course not. i fucking suck at this. and i'm scared.
and we have a show next thursday at the speazy. with a band called cle@rance, a member of which band posts on tms, and has been a veritable dick about promoting it. it's a benefit show for a better way, which helps out battered women... and he chooses to emphasize the fact that the theme of the show is "vagina friendly". yeah. never once mentioning that it's a benefit show. only promotes his band and mentions petting vaginas.
yeah.
oh and i got an e-mail tonite from the girl who's organizing the show and she asked us to play two sets. is cle@rance playing two sets? i fucking hope not.
then there's this radio thing that maybe maybe maybe might happen. me and jimmy and tamara doing some acoustic shite on the campus radio station. that would be the 22nd, if it happens. i haven't heard anything else about it. graham's not the best about giving me a lot of information. but he also spreads himself quite thin these days and i sort of avoid prying information from him, because i don't want to add to his many current stresses...especially considering most of them are not stresses he brought on himself.
but yeah. there's that stuff. and our show on the 29th. and me having weird dreams and going to other shows and having headaches and not eating much. dave made fettucine. he left some for me. i did not eat it.
really, i'm just so fucking sleepy. i'm not this sad. really. i'm just really fucking sleepy.
*smacks head on keyboard*
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"sleep will not come to this tired body now..."
