lord, i barely ever write anymore.
march is almost down the drain. down, down, down... that makes me happy. it can only mean warmth and blue skies and green grass are next to come down the chute. not to mention rainclouds and thunder and lightning. which makes me even happier.
tomorrow will make a year since i broke up with matt, and a week from today will make a year since dave and i got together. i don't even know if it counts as "getting together".....it was the first time we ever held hands. and we just ... haven't let go. no one even said anything......it was like we just sort of slipped into being together. it just sort of....happened. with no title placed upon it, no box with corresponding label to stick it in. i'm glad it happened that way.
i'm actually glad for (almost) everything that's happened this past year. the first year in a very long time that was any kind of upswing....a steady incline rather than a fucking rollercoaster.
matt taught me so much in the brief time we were together. he taught me that i could have a normal, functional, carefree and fun relationship... that i wasn't too screwed up to love or be loved...(that was very important to me..)... he taught me not to be afraid of my body... just......he taught me that i can be okay... and no one had ever done that at that point in my life... and in turn, i got to open him up to a completely different set of views, a completely different set of friends, all of which he was receptive to and eventually learned that he liked... that he didn't have to just have friends who are cookie cutter duplicates of himself... and....that the weird people are not always judging you....usually it's you that's judging them. hahahaha....
but yes... matt's married now, and here i am getting married in october. things didn't work out so bad for us this past year, eh?
heh. matt's married to a girl named beulah.
ahahahaha...
my shoulders hurt from work. stupid work. stupid jim j. he pisses me off.
oh, i got into it last week with a girl in my department, mandy (imagine that). usually i get along with her alright, except when she's in her particularly bitchy moods (which is quite often)... but i had turned around to let tyra know that i had some bills to pay at lunch and might be taking a long one.........just to let her know i would stay after if i was late. mandy started going on about how i should be able to get everything done during my lunch (since i get an hour for lunch and everyone else in the department only gets a half hour....long story short, they're still bitter), just being really shitty for absolutely no reason, especially considering the conversation had absolutely NOTHING to do with her... so she's saying something like, "we only get a half hour and WE can get whatever we need to do finished yada yada" so i turned and said, "well, screw your half hour. piss off."
yeah...............she didn't enjoy that. she let out a "well excuuuuuuuuuuse me, jennie!!" and immediately got up to run off and tell everyone that i had had the gall to stand up to her. (she's awful to everyone in the department when she's in a bad mood...and no one ever says a damn thing back to her. this was a very rare occasion for me, but i guess i'm starting to get a bit overconfident in there, since i actually have a much better grasp of what i'm doing than everyone else does....the exact reverse of how it was in library.......i dunno). it was just silly. i wasn't even angry when i said it to her, i was halfway kidding. this happened last thursday, and just today she started speaking to me again. and yet i'm childish, according to her.
ah well... like i said.....i usually get along with her. and i wasn't mad at her. i just thought it was funny that she got so mad (and stayed that mad) at me. so i wasn't mean to her. if you're nice to me, i'll most likely be nice to you. i'm not evil unless i have a reason to be. well...........usually. *throws up the horns*
laura came over last nite and we had the din-din at the applebee's. that was awesome. we even had a --- no joke --- fifteen minute long conversation with our waitress who tells us how she had this smashing idea one day to mix peppermint schnapps and milk. to which you may immediately say "EW ICK BOO HISS" but it actually doesn't sound that bad to me, especially when you consider that people put schnapps or brandy in hot chocolate or chocolate milk or things of the like. same thing...minus the chocolate.
so laura and i in turn taught her of the wonderful poor man's drink of the beechwood abode: vodka and black cherry kool-aid. closely followed by vodka and pink sobe. hahahaha. you may say gross but i say delicious. plus...sobe's an energy drink. so you get drunk, but you don't wanna pass out. it's awesome. PLEASE TRY THIS AT HOME!
ahaha...
...i'm stupid.
i'm really, really stupid. this sentiment is magnified by the fact that it's thursday, which mean IT'S APPRENTICE NITE and that actually gets me excited. HOW FUCKING SAD IS THAT.
i actually look forward to donald trump firing some poor elitist's ass. and i even have certain people i'm like...rooting for, which is so fucking retarded but i can't help it. it's heroin for my bored housewifed soul. i'm actually to the point where i'll text message laura like "IT'S ON, IT'S ON! AHAHA I HOPE THEY FIRE OMAROSA THIS WEEK!" i was explaining the horror that is omarosa to dave while she was on all the late-nite talk shows the week after she was fired.............................*sigh*........it really is a sad existence.
oh, and the band is doing alright i suppose... sort of kind of maybe i dunno like...working on this new song... we totally shelved the drop d one we were working on... for what reason...i know not. i'm just the bassist. but yeah....we have this...........thing we're working on. i'm not so sure if i'm feelin it yet, but i might have a better chance of knowing if we didn't have to stop every two goddamned minutes so jimmy can answer those goddamned text messages from that goddamned girl who won't fucking GO AWAY even though she's completley counteractive to him and not at all what he wants or needs but apparently she's a good fuck and good lord i should really end this sentence..
sorry...
*points to self*
...bitter.
anywho it would be grrrrrrreat to have a practice including our singer (how many times have i said THAT before) and hopefully this next one promises to include just that..........our singer. and we may prepare for zee show in mid-april.
and jimmy and charlie and i are gonna go see a perfect circle on april seventeenth.
and that will rock my ass.
and....just for your viewing pleazure, i offer up a reward for making it to the bottom of this godawful entry: some band pictures!!! amanda these are my way of sending you a wink.
.............................ps we're idiots
enjoy
have a lovely evening
---
"we will scatter friends like the whistling wind / you can see me wait"
