i've been experiencing technical difficulties for the past week or so... so i went to the great and powerful oz --- well, actually, another oz at the same office --- on monday, which was scary and did absolutely nothing to tell me what's wrong with me. as of yet, that is.
anyone reading this who possesses a penis might want to skip down a little ways.
i did finally get my first pelvic exam and pap smear. and laura rejoiced. what an experience THAT was. i won't go too far into detail, just to spare anyone who might actually still read this, but i can honestly say there's nothing freakier than having a piece of metal shoved up your crotch. oh, and also the size of the cotton swabs..........and the feeling of said cotton swabs actually touching your cervix. that was strange. i think the worst part about it was the fact that my doctor kept running the metal thing under water, trying to warm it up, but the water refused to get warm........so she had to put it in there COLD.
THERE WAS A COLD METAL THING IN MY CROTCH!!!
oy.
but on the upside, at least i did manage to get a female oz instead of my normal oz. made the pelvic exam slightly less awkward, though it's hard to NOT feel awkward when someone you've never met is sticking their fingers up your special area.
she also took three vials of blood from my arm and a cup 'o' hot steamy piss.
NOTE TO ALL: I AM NOT PREGNANT. i went to the doctor for completely different reasons that i'd rather not talk about. but it was necessary to know for sure that i'm not pregnant before any further action could be taken.
basically i won't know anything for another day or so....haven't heard anything yet and the blood test was supposed to take at least three days. pap won't be back for a week or so. it's kind of frustrating, because ms. oz didn't tell me shit.......just said she wanted to wait for at least the blood test before making a judgment on what's goin on here.
cold impersonal russians.
okay........the penis-possessors can start reading again i guess.
what should i say now?? hmmm......
well, i really suck at this wedding thing. i mean REALLY. it's a little under five months away and the church has been yanking me around for over a week now...telling me to show up and fill out this booklet of some sort, so i show up and no one can find the damned booklet, pastor tells me to come back the next day (as in...tonite), secretary calls and says to meet her in the office after the second service (meaning i'll have to actually show up to church TWO WEEKS IN A ROW.....what is THAT all about!)............just a bunch of stuff. all that paired with the fact that afterwards we still have to do the sit-down-talk-with-pastor-kevin thing and also the fact that when i talked to him sunday he did nothing but stare at the spike in my labret makes me quite........uncomfortable. thankfully it'll just be the standard pre-wedding counselling shit, nothing overly religious or personal...
we did get our wedding rings out of layaway finally.....a couple of weeks ago. they're lovely.....
aaaaaand.........i got my dress! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
next up on the List of Wedding Crap I Really Really Reeeeeeeallly Need to Do: the aforementioned church stuff, and innnnnnnnnnnnnnvitiations. woo doggies.
did i mention dave still hasn't asked anyone to be a groomsman????
.................I WILL KILL HIM.
this year has been flying by....it's strange to think that it's already may. i swear when we got engaged last year it seemed like the wedding was such a far off, distant event that we'd have plenty of time for, no need to worry, yada yada.
well that was a stupid thing to think...
...it's so fuckin hard
and i don't wanna mess it up
but i fear that i will
but since when do i not fear that i'll mess everything up?
*le sigh*.
it'll be alright. we'll get our shit together and once this church stuff is over, that'll be the hardest part outta the way. it'll all be alright. cos it just cain't be rong.
god i'm boring. no wonder i never update anymore...
special shout out to chris --- aka james iha --- for totally underappreciating the fresh prince and knight rider themes we busted out for him over the tel-o-fone monday nite... hahaha...
and a special i'm an asshole and i'm sorry to the band --- especially the boys --- for dealing with my cranky, heatstroked ass monday nite. i'm gonna buy you all an ice cream cone. and then we'll go to practice, and it'll melt. but it's the thought that counts, eh?
EH????
---
"Oh, the other day, my boss said we were running low on toner
And he told me I should buy another case
Well, I told him I was busy, but he still just kept on asking
So, I turned around and stabbed him in the face (right in the face)
Oh, and wouldn't you know it, my knife got stuck
I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then
But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little
And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again (quite as sharp again)
Oh, tell me
Why does this always happen?
Why does this always happen to me?
Why does this always happen?
Why does this always happen to me?"
